5 of 5: EcoSex @ U Conn – Diamond’s Sexual Fluidity – Student Responses: Rihann’s Take
The EcoSex course at U Conn is complete. It was a great experience. We spent time reading amazing books. And here we resume posts to be shared with you. Thinking out of the box and across disciplines. Students had been sending their responses in, with discussion questions. In class, we did connected the dots: a holograph of what we’ve read together, the “required readings.” Multiple perspectives and good synergy. Here, we offer a glimpse. Lisa Diamond’s Sexual Fluidity was one of two cultural-theory theory books. We got five responses: from Adam, Michael, Alissa, John, and Rhiann.
The section I chose to respond to in Sexual Fluidity regards attraction as unbiased by gender schemas. I’ve always thought that I was more attracted to people’s souls and the mental connection
that I have with said person. However, I had never listed the things I like about my intimate partners before and analyzed the characteristics in terms of gender neutral. Many of the characteristics I consider myself attracted to are gender neutral as well as personality based. However, I have never found myself sexually or romantically attracted to a woman even though the things I like about the men I’ve been with are not specific to men. This concept really made me think. In my life time, could I one day find myself interested in a woman? I had never contemplated this before. To be honest the question makes me a little uncomfortable that I do not know the answer. I wonder if my peers had similar reactions to this section or have experiences with being attracted to the person not the gender.
Additionally, Sarah’s story really struck me. There’s something special about female best friends that live together. I do have a very deep connection and relationship with my roommate. Although, I have never been attracted to her sexually, the things I like about my lovers and intimate partners I also like about her. I also recognize that she is an attractive woman. It’s weird to think that these premises match the premises of Sarah’s story. Again, it makes me uncomfortable to relate our relationship to Sarah and Nadine’s. I assume that this is because I come from a very heteronormative background and have never considered being anything else. Ultimately, their story made me think and look at my relationship with my best friend and roommate. I noticed how much our relationship resembles as dating relationship minus a sexual aspect. It’s interesting to me to contemplate our bond in concordance with attraction. These were my reactions to the text and I look forward to elaborating on them. I’m very curious to hear about my peers relationships and attraction to their best friends and lovers.
Let “nature” be your teacher in the arts of love. Education is the heart of democracy, education to love. Come back for more wonders: Students Responses have resumed, to appear now every Tuesday. More Book Reports to be scheduled soon, every other Thursday.
Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio, PhD
Gilf Gaia Extraordinaire
Author of Gaia,Eros, and many other books about loveProfessor of Humanities