“When one is young, the idea of a real and abiding love tends to resemble a fairy tale, and there is little room in the predictable lines of a storybook romance for the messy truths that adults sometimes find themselves in. That is because love, by its very nature, surprises. It thrills and moves us in ways unimaginable, and sometimes that means our heart is tugged in two directions; without any mal-intent, it pulses to the melancholic pop melody, ‘torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool…”

Once upon a time, I might have misjudged a person in this predicament as suffering a lack of moral fortitude (the lothario, the tart…must have fallen out of the cheatin’ tree and hit every branch).  But that was before musing over modern love and the provocative words of Deborah Anapol, PhD, author of Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners (2010).

Her insights have wrecked my notions of sexual ethics and classifications. If I had to identify myself – and the more I explore sexuality, the more I find them restrictive, problematic and injurious, but for the purposes of this contemplation will offer it up – I’d describe myself as a monogamous and heterosexual woman.  I believe in soul mates, long-term committed love and marriage, and practiced serial monogamy my whole adult life.

Thanks to Deborah, I may also be polyamorous.”

Read the complete article on Modern Love Muse, Tinamarie’s blog.

http://polyplanet.blogspot.com