Workshop 3 – The Pleasure of the Other: Becoming a Resource for Love
The ecstasy our lovers feel is proportional to our ability to experience it as our own pleasure. When we get to access this experience our education in the arts of loving can be considered complete. As artists of love, we will be the source of erotic ecstasy for our lovers in such sublime communion that the pleasure of the other will become our own.
As a principle of erotic/ecstatic communion, the pleasure of the other is not new. We can read about it in Sappho, Ovid, Veronica Franco, Giacomo Casanova, and others whose love lives have been celebrated in literature. But how can we learn to generate this pleasure in our own love lives? This workshop is designed to provide access to this experience.
The exercise intends to initiate participants in the practice of forming a pleasure team and receiving pleasure from multiple sources. It can be done in a conventional or clothing-optional environment. Participants form groups of 5 to 7 people and sit on the floor in a circle. One participant volunteers to be the ‘pleasure emitter,’ the others form the ‘pleasure team.’ The ‘pleasure emitter’ lies down at the center while members of the ‘pleasure team’ sit around in a circle. Boundaries are set as to what areas of the ‘pleasure emitter’s’ body are open for receiving pleasure and what areas are off limits. The pleasure team begins to focus on pleasuring the emitter. Members will stay tuned into each other and listen for signs of pleasure from the emitter. The emitter will express pleasure with words, moans, and body movements. These will reverberate as feed back with the team whose members will enhance the pleasure as they respond to the expressions of the emitter.
The exercise can be repeated as many times as there are volunteer pleasure emitters in the group. Each round lasts about 10-15 minutes. After two or three rounds, the group will discuss the experience. Participants will share about what it felt like to be in either position and why. What did participants learn about pleasure? Is the pleasure of the other better than our own?
A group hug can be used as a closing ritual.
A workshop designed by Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio, PhD
